There’d always been something exciting about being on my knees with Michael in back of me. I’d always teased him that it wasn’t him but the expensive soft carpet in the bedroom. Maybe it was the position or maybe it seemed to bring out a personality in him that didn’t seem to exist when we were in bed. Either way it didn’t matter on that night. We had started the night with a bottle of Wente Vinyard wine, Merlot to be exact. To be more specific Went Vineyard is located in Livermore, California and my favorite brand is their Merlot, Charles Wetmore Reserve. Something about California wine in New York made things seem special. Anyway, it had been an easy day at the office on this particular Friday. No arguments, no negotiations, no emergencies to deal with and to me it was a perfect day. By the end of the day Michael was pacing his office, like a bull about to charge anything just because it moved. To him without emergencies to deal with it was a boring, non-productive day. By the end of the day I just wanted to get to New Jersey. He has sold the house on Staten Island and we moved things to Closter, New Jersey.

I walked into his office deciding to ignore his mood and said, "Well, the day is over and it was nice and quiet. Are we going to New Jersey this weekend?"

He looked over at me, "What makes you so fucking sure you’re going anywhere with me?"

Anthony was sitting on the couch and he quickly looked at me and winked.

Michael turned to him, "Anthony, you got nothing better to do than sit your ass on my couch. Get the fucking car I’m getting out of here."

Michael stormed past me, ignoring me, and got in the elevator. Anthony looked at me and said, "Jessika, he’s in a foul mood. How about I drive him to New Jersey and we go for dinner? I’ll come back to the city as soon as I drop him off?"

Then we heard Michael from the elevator, "Sparky, get your fucking ass down to the fucking car. You fucking got it?"

I yelled back, "The only thing I got is if I had $5.00 for every time you can’t think of a word but the word "fuck" I’d be able to retire by the morning! YOU GOT IT?" I was getting mad now because I didn’t really do anything to get yelled at and after all these years I could yell as much as Michael.

Anthony and I laughed when Michael yelled back, "You ain’t never gonna yell right! You got that woman’s squeak in your voice. Your voice goes up into a damn screech!"

As Anthony and I were taking the elevator to the car I asked, "Anthony, do I screech or do I sound like I’m in authority?"

He laughed as the doors opened. Michael was standing there, "You two having fun laughing?"

Anthony grinned, "Yeah, boss. You should try it sometime."

Michael never got mad at Anthony and only Anthony could make Michael smile at a time when he was this mad, "Oh great. Now she’s ruining my best man – well don’t laugh too much Anthony or you’ll slip up and not realize what’s going on around you."

Anthony went to the front of the car and got in next to the driver as we got into the back of the car. Speeding out of the city and across the George Washington Bridge always seemed like we were escaping. As soon as we got to the house I felt like I was in the country. It even smelled nicer than the City or Staten Island. I loved this house although I knew not to think of it as anything but a place to stay and that it was replaceable at a moment’s notice.

We walked into the bedroom and I asked, "Michael, you won’t sell this house soon, will you?"

His reply was, "If you get too comfortable it will bother you when you lose something – don’t ever get too comfortable with something."

I don’t know why I still would get mad knowing him like I did but at times I needed stability, "Damn, can’t we have one place that I know will be around."

He gave me an odd look, "Around for what Sparks?"

"Michael, I don’t know. I just would like to know somewhere is home."

He suddenly grinned, "Okay, think of the office as home. There, now you should always want to be at the office, right?"

I looked away from him, "Whatever! Would it bother you if you lost me?"

I heard him groan as he sat down in his chair by the fireplace, "Okay, we can waste five to ten minutes going over whatever your female brain is beginning to dredge up. How can I lose you? I can lose my keys, I can lose my jacket but how can I forget where I put you? Like you won’t stand there and do your screech where I left you to come and find you?"

I walked over to him and stripped off my clothes as he grinned, "Hey, you’re not playing fair standing butt naked."

I grinned, "Nothing on your birth certificate says things are fair. It only says who your parents are."

He laughed and I felt him grab my arm pulling me over to him and onto his lap. I loved being held by this man. All my fears would go away, all my insecurities would go away. It would be as if my world was safe and no one would ever hurt me again. "Michael?"

I even liked when he growled, "What Sparks? What? Can we get this all done in ten minutes and fuck?"

"So, then, Michael, what you like is only fucking me?"

He tightened his grip while he answered, "Well, you’re kind of convenient to have at home!"

I gazed into his eyes, "Where is home Michael? For you, where is home?"

He kissed me on the nose, "Damn, Sparky, you haven’t toughened up at all through all these years. Home is wherever I am at the time that I can sleep without worrying someone is gonna try and do me in. Got it? Now, before you go snuggling in and make my gun go off let me get out of these clothes."

I laughed, "You mean you already have to come?"

He was already standing taking off his jacket and when he reached for his gun that was apparently in the back of his slacks - I laughed, "Oh oops. That gun! I was wondering where it was. You usually have it under your armpit."

I watched as he put it close to the bed, on his nightstand, then changed his mind and put it under his pillow. He looked at me and smiled, "Don’t look so worried, the safety is on. Now, so far this house is fine. We may have to move closer to the bridge, by Fort Lee, but a house is safer so it will always be a house. Not a home. A house. Home for you is wherever I am. Got it?"

He’d moved to the floor and patted the carpet in front of him.

I grinned, "Oh, so at the moment home is on the carpet? I’m supposed to think of the carpet as home?"

As I moved in front of him he smacked me hard on the ass, "Don’t think. Thinking has always gotten you in trouble and then you get sleepy!"

I stayed in position and felt him running his hands over my outer thighs and then slowly up inside of them. There was something about this position that made Michael go slowly. I’d feel him leaning over my back and kissing my neck and down my spine. His hands reached under me spreading me open.

Slowly he’d rub his chest over my back as kisses would be felt on my shoulder blades and all the way down to my lower back. His hands then would slide through my hair wrapping it around his fist. I’d feel him moving into position and then in a moment of time standing still I’d hear him growl, "My bitch! My Jessika. Home is with me and you can never leave!" Then he’d pull my hair so hard that my head would arch back and I’d feel his cock ram into my pussy. He’d kiss my back and bite my shoulders as he shifted position and continued powerful thrusts into me. I could feel him moving faster and with one of his hands still entwined in my hair and the other digging into my hip holding me in position I’d hear him groan and push deeper until he’d curse, "Damn, Fuck you Jessika!" Then I’d feel him come and only then would I let myself crest over the edge and come in total bliss. He’d just lean on my back with his hand rubbing up and down my outer thigh, "Damn Jessika. Damn!"

I’d never answer him or say anything. I’d keep this part of him for myself. I guess his final curse was letting me know he had no control at that time and that was fine with me.

We finally got in bed and as I snuggled into his side he would always put his arm around me. I said, "Michael this feels safe so does that make it feel like home?"

He chuckled, "Know what Sparks? You get your mind set on something and you’re like a record that’s stuck." He looked into my eyes and grinned, "No, it isn’t home. I’m home – wherever I am then that’s gotta be your home and that just has to be good enough for you. Got it? This is just a house with Anthony on guard making it safe." He pulled his arm tighter around me and tipped my chin up so I was looking into his eyes. "Sparky, don’t ever feel safe in this house or when I’m not around or Anthony ain’t around. When you feel safe is when you’re gonna be in danger. Okay? Ya gotta promise me you’ll never feel safe unless I’m around."

I knew he was serious and I smiled, "I’ve known not to feel safe for years unless you’re around. Some things as a woman I know. I also know that you feel like you’re home when I’m around - right?"

I knew he’d groan on that one, "Sparks? Go to sleep now!"